How did you let yourself get this way?
Being controlled by the petty things the world says.
You’re too afraid to climb.
You’re too afraid to fall.
Your greatest wish is to just sometimes disappear.
So no one can see the failure you’ve become.
People tell you not to let the small stuff get in the way.
It’s all small stuff some say.
Well if it’s all small and not important,
Then how come it’s running you into the ground?
You feel like a failure.
At what? Total Life.
You never feel attractive enough.
You never feel smart enough.
You feel as if you’ll never find love
Or hell yet, a friend.
Damn you my heart!
You must you let me be this way?
I just want to succeed, what ever that means.
Is it so wrong to want to be wanted and needed?
But too afraid to try for fear you’ll fail.
You’ve seen it all before.
Too many hearts and dreams being broken.
Life is just cruel.
Maybe one day life will be ok.
Maybe one day everything is worth the wait.
But sometimes you feel it’s too late.
The damage is done.
You never lived to other people’s expectations and dreams.
A wilted flower is all you’ll ever be.
©1998-2002 S.A.L.
Writer's note:
Sometimes I just get into these moods and I starting yelling at myself for being what I am. Some days I just feel like a failure. Not only to myself but to other people, too. I know I'm probably not but I just have images implanted into my head saying other wise.
