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Self Hate

          I should be happy
          But I'm really not
          I'm tired of feeling this way
          Feeling nothing than bigger than a spot.

          I've got feelings, too.
          I may be quiet, I'm mostly mute.
          That doesn't mean you can
          Treat me like an idiot.

          Just because I'm not a follower
          And I choose not to be a skank
          Doesn't mean you should mold me
          To hate myself, just full of self-hate.

          I guess I'm just too old-fashioned
          I didn't realize having morals was a crime
          I'll remind God to spank me
          When I'm in heaven and the rest of the world is in Hell

          I take that back
          That's just not right
          I'm just tired of feeling like
          My thoughts are wrong.

©2001 S.A.L.

Writer's note:
I can't recall when I wrote this poem in 2001 but I was really depressed when I wrote it. I found it later during a happier moment and decided that I should post it.