Tonight, my brother, Matthew, and I went out and about the town. We went to the mall to get Nicki's boyfriend, Cameron, a DS charger. Poor Cameron has been hospitalized. He's not near death, thank God, but the medical problem he has requires an IV drip. The medication in the drip takes 48 hours to get into the system. So, he's stuck in the hospital and can't charge his DS. So, we ran and got it. It's going to suck for my sisters when I move to Atlanta and Matthew moves. He's currently contemplating a move to Brunswick when his girlfriend, Jessica, gets out of school.

We decided to have dinner at Loco's. After dinner, we went to Books-a-Million to browse. Matthew was in luck. We found real live Girl Scouts! A Daisy troop was selling cookies. Matthew freaked out. He's been looking for a Girl Scout in town to get some cookies from. He bought a box of Samoas. He gets that love from my dad. My dad always had to have 2 or 3 boxes of Samoas when I grew up. And looking at the Daisies made me feel old. I remember when I was a Daisy 23 years ago. That was the first year of Daisy Girl Scouts. But, we didn't sell cookies. We just gave away free samples and tried to get people addicted to the crack known as Thin Mints.

And in more sad news, I found out my father lost his last surviving aunt on his father's side. While in Fayetteville, he broke the news to me his uncle died. Uncle Benny was his Aunt Neva's husband. While trying to find Benny's obituary, I found Neva's obituary. Neva, my Grandpa's sister, was the last living Latta of that generation. She died 6 days after Benny. While their deaths are sad, they don't seem as tragic as the other big death making an impact in my life. There is a sweet side to their deaths. Benny didn't have to wait long for Neva.

I'm beginning to hate death. Can we ban it?

[♪ Listening to: "If You're Gonna Fly Away" - Faith Hill]

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Tea-- leaves and fortune tellers? Is there anything you do out of habit because of old sayings? ...like not stepping on cracks or staying home on Friday the Thirteenth? ...or eating chocolate on Valentine's Day <g>? Just knocking on wood. That's all I can think about at the moment.

Twosome: for-- every time you make it to work or class or an appointment on time, how many times are you late? Just curious... I hate being late. I grew up being late. I made it a priority to be early. My mother used to joke our last name was Italian for late. My famliy proved that to me when they were late for my graduation.

Threesome: Two-- weeks and the next day is only there twenty-five percent of the time! Does Leap Year have any special meaning to you? ...or is it just one more day of the week? Just one more day of the week.

[♪ Listening to: "You're Not Alone" - Amy Grant]

This is not an entry I want to write on Valentine's Day.

The other day, I wrote about having a purpose. I said there was one purpose that I didn't not want to have to have. Sadly, an hour after I wrote that, I had to start fulfilling it.

My best friend, Joey, called me. We had made plans for Friday to go to Statesboro to work on his Senior Project. He called to cancel the plans. And he had a damn good reason to do so. The girl he loved most of his life, the one he planned to marry, had died. It was a long distance relationship, but once he graduated college, he would move home and be with her. They made plans for the life they wanted. Last week, she had surgery. He told me this Saturday afternoon. She died Tuesday of complications. After speaking to her family, his family, and his professors, he called me. I rushed out to Armstrong, picked him up, and took him home to Fayetteville as soon as possible.

I got home from Fayetteville about an hour and half ago. I stayed 2 nights with him and his family. I was there if he needed me. When he told me of the surgery, something in me was moved. And scared this would happen. I didn't want this happen. Prayed that it wouldn't happen. I just wanted him to be happy. And this girl made him happy. But now, in addition to Joey being in a pain that's one of the most painful he's ever going to feel, the girl leaves behind her parents, her sister, and 4 children that are about to experience life in a way they never should. I can't question why it happened. No one can. However, we're going to keep asking these questions. Why? How? What could have been done to stop it? Why did God take her instead of someone else? What's God's purpose for this? And yet, as I learned with my mother's death, we can ask these questions until we're blue in the face. Nothing will bring our loved ones back. We can't change the past. And while words and gestures mean well, right now, they all seem meaningless. I never knew her, but I am touched by her. In many ways, the impact she had on Joey made an impact on me.

I would have stayed as long as he wanted me to. I was willing. I offered to bring him home to Savannah after the funeral, but his mother wanted to do it, too. He needs her more than me right now. He knows I'm willing to do what I can. However, right now, there's nothing I can do for him these next few days. I'm there for emotional support, but really, I would have been in the way up in Fayetteville. So, I came home. I did leave something of mine up there for him. I took my camera with me. I like taking road sign pictures, and figured on the ride up there, I would take advantage of the time and work on it. The ride was going to be uncomfortable, no matter what. He saw the camera and remarked about taking photos of her family while there. So, I came home, but left him the camera, explaining about the batteries and the memory cards. And the next few days, weeks, and months are going to suck for him. I wish I could take his pain away. All I can do is be there for him the way a friend can be.

I'll do the Thursday Threesome tomorrow. The only thing more I can say today is don't just use today to tell your loved ones you love them. Always tell them.

[♪ Listening to: "Je T'aime Encore" - Céline Dion]

In the past 96+ hours, my mind has been racing about my purpose in life. I don't know what my purpose really is, but I know I have one. I've been giving it some thought - what my purpose could be. And that sometimes, life takes detours to get to your destination. It's all confusing. I just know right now that one of my possible purposes in life is one I don't want. I won't get into specifics on this blog on that one. Those that know what's really going on in my life will understand. I just wonder if I'm strong enough to handle the job God has in store for me if it comes to that.

I'm still looking for a job in Atlanta. That is my goal. That is my dream. I look online every day and submit resumes to the jobs I feel qualified for. I pray God gives me a job, soon. However, as part as my purpose, I feel like I haven't gotten a job yet because I still have some business to attend to here in Savannah. I will say that the search is frustrating. It's annoying to pull up a job that's listed under 0-2 years experience and then the description asks for 5+ years experience working with some software. I get excited for a job, but then I deflate to know I'm not qualified. I know there's a job for me out there. And as to why I'm looking to Atlanta, well, it's because it's a whole 'nother world, yet close to home. It's what nearly everyone here in Savannah does. I need change and Atlanta brings it to me.

Yesterday, I went to the DMV to transfer a title of one my father's truck. I'm taking joint ownership of it. That was such a pleasant experience. The woman had an attitude. I had gone to the DMV last week to handle the transfer. I had the power of attorney, my mother's death certificate, and the title. Originally, I was just going to take full ownership, but then we decided I'd just take 50% of the truck. When I went last week, I was told I needed a copy of my dad's driver's license. So, this week, I go back with a copy. And when I explained my situation to the lady, she got snippy. One problem she had was my mother's name on her death certificate. Because my mother's maiden name was not listed under her full name slot, but her maiden name slot on her certificate, there was no way this wasn't going to work, in her eyes. That she didn't know what the K in my mother's name listed on the title meant, so it will get rejected. I kept showing her it meant her maiden name, which is on the certificate. And it's not like my mother's the only woman that signed her name first name, maiden initial, last name. My friend Lindsey does it. But, because my mother's maiden name was in one box instead of another box, this woman was a bitch. She kept trying to avoid doing the paperwork. She also kept telling me that if I continued, I may never be able to title a car in the state of Georgia again until I clear the situation with this truck title. I said I'd take care of it when and if that happens. When she realized I wasn't going to budge on the name issue, she started telling me that because I was signing on my father's behalf, I couldn't sign on my behalf and was still trying to not work on the title transfer. I pulled out a paper I got last week and had Nicki with me. I told her I was explained this issue last week and had it all ready. I knew I couldn't sign for myself, so here's my sister to sign for me. I knew it was a difficult request, but attitude makes all the difference. If you don't like your job, find another one. A pleasant personality would have made my adventure at the DMV much better than it was. Nicki wanted to smack that woman.

However, the DMV trip was just an example of my purpose in life. I honestly don't think my other siblings could have handled the pressure of it. I love them, but that's the truth. And since my mother died, my purpose has been to help my family, especially my father. But now, it's my time to move on and start living my own life. And that's why I want to move to Atlanta. May it be soon!

[♪ Listening to: "Black Balloon" - Goo Goo Dolls]

Armstrong Atlantic State University/
University of Southern Indiana Baseball
Uploaded by peachy92.

Ended up being a long day.

I woke up to beautiful weather in Savannah. It was so nice, I wasn't going to let the day go to waste. I got up, got dressed, grabbed my camera, and went to Armstrong. The college baseball season is in full swing. I haven't been to a baseball game since the one in September. I have been in the doldrums the past few months and figure that baseball and spring weather were the perfect antidote. I ended up getting a major sun burn on my upper arms and a minor one on my face, but I rather have them than be sad. The Pirates defeated the University of Southern Indiana Screaming Eagles, 9-4. It was a double header, but I only attended one game. My poor body couldn't take another game, and I didn't have enough battery power on me. The game I saw, the Pirates darn near blew it. They put the game away in the bottom of the 8^th with a 3-run homer. Around the time of the homer, I had gotten together with one of my best friends, Joey. He'd been working the Writing Center conference at Armstrong and had a break in his schedule. He came over to check on the game.

After the game, I headed over to the conference and spent some time with him. He was driving one of the shuttles for the conference, and had me ride a few trips with him. He introduced me to his passengers as his best friend. I never thought I was best friend material, especially to him. He took them on a little detour to show them a house of the lady that hung the jury for one of the Jim Williams murder trials many years before I lived here in Savannah. It was his little personal touch on the shuttle service. The people in the car were impressed. Tourists eat up anything about Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. The lady of Joey's story was his grandmother's next door neighbor. He remembers her scaring him as a child.

After the conference ended, Joey and I went to his house to watch a movie he ordered last week. He originally ordered the TV movie Captain America II: Death Too Soon, but was shipped the first movie, Captain America. He didn't mind the error, so he kept it. I joked I should come see this movie. It was so 1970s and so cheesy. We kept making cracks at the silly stuff. I will say it wasn't a bad as The Master.

When the movie ended, I went home and spoke to my dad. I also picked up some of my DVDs to lend Joey. Ever since I got Airplane!, he's been wanting to see it. I also lent him 2 other movies I enjoy that he hadn't seen. One is I feel is required 1980s movie cheesiness. The other one contains a quote I use a lot that I picked up from my mother. I ended up going to dinner later with Joey and his uncles. His family's been nothing but nice to me and in a sense, have adopted me. After dinner, we went to CVS and Barnes and Noble. I got some aloe lotion for my skin and we each wanted some book browsing. I ended up getting Don't Throw Away Tomorrow : Living God's Dream for Your Life to read.

The last thing we did for the night was go to a bar. Yes, anti-bar Shawn was at a bar. But, since I was with a friend, I felt safe. We met with one of Joey's bar pals. I had met this friend the last time I went to a bar with him. We ended up spending the night playing darts and cutthroat. I didn't know how to play either, so they taught me. There was also some karaoke going on at the bar, so Joey got us and sang a few songs, too. I did have fun.

As a result of being gone all day yesterday and just having a life for once, I took today off. I may go to bed early as a result.