I wish I could say I had a love like Noah Calhoun in The Notebook. I don't. And some days, I doubt I will. Actually, this entry has nothing to do with that story. I love the book, but it's too much of a modern fairy tale. And fairy tales don't happen to me. And if they do, they are short and sweet, leaving me behind before I realize it.

The entry is really about my notebook. It's the one I got last month while in my deep depression. I haven't written in it in over 2 weeks. I wrote several pages worth of feelings, thoughts, and fears in it this afternoon. And like half the stuff I've written in it, I paper clipped it shut. I cried a bit as wrote what I did, but I feel better getting it off my chest. I said what I had to say. And some of the things were harsh. I hate myself for writing some of those comments, but it had to be done. If the fears I wrote ever do come true, at least I have proof I wrote them. I don't want them to come true, but life is a tricky game and may make them come true. It will hurt if they do. And I wrote that harsh stuff out of love for life, not hate. Even when people think I hate someone, I don't. I hate the fears these "hated" people's actions create. I hate to see people I love get hurt by people that have only shown me evidence of selfishness. I know I can be selfish, too, but I hope most people that know me dearly know I try not to be selfish. I just want the best for everyone.

As I was writing in the notebook, I started thinking of Chely Wright's "Back Of The Bottom Drawer." I hope one day, this notebook will be something I have to put in the back of my bottom drawer when I'm married. I won't have Mardi Gras beads like in the song, or have other regrets expressed in the song, but I will have a few trinkets there that will show me how far I've gone to get to where I want to be.

Since my mother died, her dresser drawers are still the same. Before New Year's, I found some of the trinkets she had in them. One was a poem she wrote to her father. She wrote it when I was about 7 months old. The poem was about missing him, wondering how to get over the pain, and wishing he could know me. I know somewhere in this house there is also a notebook with other poems she wrote about losing the guys she thought she loved before she met my father. I wish I could find it. I take after my mother more than I knew I did.

[♪ Listening to: "Heart Of Stone" - Taylor Dayne]

BlogSavannah Un-conference
Uploaded by peachy92.

Today was the 2^nd Annual BlogSavannah UnConference. It was held this year in at the Armstrong Center. Yes, I was back at school. The Center wasn't as cramped as it was last year. My personal photos are up in my BlogSavannah Un-conference 2008 set and there is a BlogSavannah UnConference 2008 Flickr Pool

The sessions I attended were Blogging and Life, Social Media Tools, and PR/Business: Case Studies from 2007. They were all interesting in there own ways. I was probably most active in Social Media Tools. I have the most experience with that. Well, Blogging and Life, too, but I didn't want to dominate that conversation. I could say a lot about Blogging and Life, but I agreed with many of the participants. You shouldn't blog for the hits and comments. Of course, you'll get obsessed with it. I know I did when I first started to blog and installed my first comment system. But, over time, I realized I shouldn't blog for the hits or the comments. I should blog because I want to blog. I go through spells that I don't want to blog. Lately, I haven't had much to say. But, I blog for me. I don't blog for others. However, I know I have several regular readers that come to my site or read me via my RSS feed.

I was a little bit more vocal in Social Media Tools. I tried to help the guys as needed. Also, a few of the people had questions, and since we were all in the back, they asked me questions about some of the social media tools like RSS feeds and Flickr. One lady even asked me why wasn't I presenting. I told her I wasn't asked to present and to tell you the truth, I didn't volunteer. But, I can answer questions on RSS, Flickr, and Movable Type. Seems I was the only in the room that uses Movable Type. Before I left, I mentioned the Flickr group to the rest of the room.

I was to have lunch with both Lindsey and Joey, but it ended up being just me and Joey. I picked him up; we went to Ken and Candi's for lunch. We had a great lunch. I mentioned to him I was doing some genealogy work last night. In my research, I found out that Donald Ross Rd. in Palm Beach County, FL is named after my great-uncle that died in World War II. Or so the Internet told me. It most likely is my great-uncle that is the name sake. My Grandmother grew up in Palm Beach County. And according to Ancestry.com, my 8^th cousin 2 times removed on my Grandmother's side is Elvis Presley. The funny thing about that is Grandma was the huge Elvis fan. I wonder how she'd feel knowing 4 of her grandkids were related to the King. She would be so thrilled. However, Joey's favorite one to laugh about is that this site also says my 9^th cousin 2 times removed on the same side of the family is Hillary Rodham Clinton. I'm probably not going to vote for her. He can't stand her. But, he thought it was so funny, he called his mother at one point to let her know. I once joked to Joey that maybe we were distant cousins. I just didn't expect Hillary Clinton to be in my tree.

When we finished eating, I let Joey take my car to the other side of Armstrong so he could avoid the cold and do some work. I stayed at the Center and found Gennie. We spent the next hour talking and catching up. We also worked with our cameras and uploaded some photos to Flickr. Then, it was time for the final sessions of the say. I attended the PR/Business: Case Studies from 2007. I don't have a business, so I couldn't really give hints for the session, but I did listen and took in some information. After that session, there was an hour wrap-up session, including a live demonstration of the One Laptop Per Child laptop. I ended up winning a poster, too. I gave it to Gennie. Before I left, Gennie was nice enough to take a few shots of me with Joey. My favorite picture of them all is one where he and I are fighting over my sweatshirt. He wanted his Georgia shirt to dominate the shot, and did all he could to block my Georgia Tech sweatshirt. The Conference was fun and just what I needed. It was great to meet many different people and meet some new people.

I'm also glad I got together with Joey, too. He was very helpful today. My family and our mechanic are all sick of Beth's Jeep. Every time we think it's fixed, it's not. Today's problem was the gas tank had a drip. I noticed this when I filled it full of gas. I took the car straight home and parked it. I didn't want to drive it and it turn into a fireball. However, I had to take it back to the mechanic. I couldn't do that until this afternoon. Thankfully, Joey took me home to get the Jeep, followed me to the mechanic, and then I took him home. Had it not been for him, I would have never gotten that Jeep there! I'm glad he followed me. He could smell the gas fumes from the car as he followed me. I just hope the problem came from me overfilling that tank. I've been know to do that.

And that's my day in a nutshell.

The BlogSavannah UnConference is on. Here's a video we're currently watching:

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Harlem-- Nights? The Apollo Theater? If we came to visit your area, where would you recommend we sightsee? Just take a look at my Savannah Flickr Collection. However, don't stay out at night downtown. It's dangerous. And actually, if someone called me up right now with a relocation paid job to north Atlanta right now, I'd take it. Savannah's a pretty town, has some sights to see, but it's not the town for me. All it's got here is drinking and I'm not a drinker. Atlanta has so much more to keep my interest.

Twosome: (The) Globetrotters-- can be quite a show! Have you ever seen them? Are there any "show" teams you like to watch perform? Pep competitions? Bands? No, mever saw them, except on local TV. Most of the band preformaces I;ve seen lately are the ones of the Jenkins Marching Band using my stree as a practice parade route. Thye use my neighborhood because the school is in it, and the street's safe to use.

Threesome: Basketball-- is in full swing, and March Madness isn't all that far away? Any opinions on either NBA or NCAA teams? ...or is it all downhill after the Packers lost? I'm just ready for baseball season to start. I sure have missed watching it and talking about it. And going to the games!

The past couple of days, I have been going through my old cell phone photos. These photos go back to September 2004, when I got my first cell phone with a camera. I uploaded the ones I put on my old Textamerica account, plus a few others I thought were interesting. These "newer" cell phone photos include ones of the Ten Commandments monument when it was in Savannah. The above collage is an image map, so clicking on the photos takes you to each individual page.

Going throughout the photos was labor intensive. It took me about 8 hours total between 2 days to get the date, time, description, and location up for each photo. I think it was worth the time. I didn't realize how much those cell phone photos meant to me. I found photos of Lucky and Misty I forgot about it. I found a picture of my mother from the time we went to the zoo in Columbia, SC. I found a photo that wasn't too flattering of my mother, but it was still a photo of her living life. In this case, she was sleeping. Still, they were snap shots of a time gone by.

Some of these photos were taken when I was depressed. I know I was. My mother saw the nights I would come home from school and just cry. But, at the same time, I had a happiness in me. It's funny how we can be so happy and so sad at the same time. Just like I feel at the moment.

This topic about going through photos brings me up to the death of Heath Ledger. Nicki and I were home together, for once, and the news broke yesterday as I was cleaning the cat box. I screamed the news to Nicki. He's one of her favorite actors. We were both shocked. He's our age. We're not meant to die at this age. We still don't know what the cause is at the moment I type this. However, I heard he had pneumonia. I could see that being a contributing factor. I had a mild case when I was 12. It was horrible. And last month, when I saw Joey's stepfather, I was worried about the man. I found out he had pneumonia the last time I saw Joey. Maybe Heath's body, along with other factors, just led to his body giving out. No matter the cause of death, it is still sad for his family.

One of my first thoughts about his death was about his poor daughter. She's 2, so she won't have a full understanding of what happened until she gets older. But, that's going to hurt. I was an adult when my mother died, and I still long for her photos. That little girl is going to want them when she's older. It will be her way of connecting to her father. While I hate how the paparazzi stalk anyone with a whiff of celebrity attached to his or her name, their greedy actions may have some good. While there have been photos of Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams giving the paparazzi their due, most paparazzi photos I saw of them were of them loving and caring for baby Matilda. I hope that little girl, as she grows, gets copies of those photos and any videos of her father playing with her that may have been filmed as part of those "The Making Of…" documentaries that they make as companion pieces. No matter the quality of the work, she should get a copy. Even the grainiest and worst photo is better than no photo at all.

[♪ Listening to: "One Good Woman" - Peter Cetera]

Seems they plan on bringing it back.

In the late 1980s, when my family was lucky and we had 2 VCRs, we recorded Circus of the Stars I'm thinking it was a rerun of #13. There was a guy walking on this spinning hoop. I can't really explain what it was. I don't even think it was a star doing the stunt. Well, Johnny Gilbert was the announcer. As he was describing the stunt, the performer slips as he's walking on the outside of the spinning loop, backwards, and blindfolded. Gilbert's description just get ridiculous. It was a scare, but Gilbert made it sound like the guy died. My mother, Nicki, and I just laughed at it all. And rewound it over and over. For some reason, that's my fondest memory of that show.