Alive…Except Mentally.

Depression is a horrible thing. The past week or so, I've been wanting to go to the zoo. I just haven't have the spirit in me to just go and do it. I hate doing things alone, which for most things, I end up doing alone. I said Joey would miss me for all I did for him at school, but the truth is, I'm going to miss him, too. In a way, I do now. I enjoyed his company last semester for things like eating lunch or dinner or going off and running an errand. Nearly everyday I saw a friendly face happy to see and hang out with me. Now, I can still enjoy his company during the time he's in town to complete his degree, but it won't be the same. Once he graduates, he's gone to go live the life he wants to live. I may never see him again. And I have Lindsey here in town to hang with. I still have her. But during this month or so I've been out of school, Joey's been in his hometown and Lindsey's been busy with her family for the holidays as well; I have been lonely. It's going to take time for this lonely feeling to fade away.

Today, after waking up, I went our and helped my dad with some woodwork. He's been into woodworking lately. I just assisted him. He'd measure and cut the wood; I just held things in place for him. He got a bit of work done. I enjoyed it, too. I got to talk to him and got some things off my chest. My dad told me not to give up. Not to give up my dreams. And to go for what I want. I know I need to try, but I'm afraid of failure, too. I have issues with failure, I wish I understood why I'm so afraid of things at times.

I'm just going to end this entry with an e-mail forward that Joey sent me, along with a few other friends of his. I think it has some great points. Now, for me to live by them:

ONE Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE Spend some time alone.

The UnConference is Back

BlogSavannah has announced plans for the BlogSavannah UnConference 2008. This year, it will be held out at Armstrong Atlantic State University, on Savannah's southside. It will be held at the Armstrong Center. The date is January 25^th, from 9 AM to 4 PM. I plan on attending, time permitting. You don't have to be a blogger to attend.

And for those that don't know what the Center used to be, it was the old Publix that the school bought. The facilities inside are nice. I've had 2 events there back in April. One of my classmates from school held her wedding there. Andit being held there will allow me to have lunch with Lindsey.

The Thursday Threesome: "Twenty-five or Six to Four"

My plans for today were put off until Saturday due to the extreme cold snap in the Southeast. I did head to the school today to talk to Lindsey, as well as lend her my graphing calculator.

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Twenty-five?-- Good age to be? ...or bad age to survive? Can you look back at this time without cringing? ...or are you there yet? 25 sucked for me. 26 sucked as well. 27 got better. 28 was the best. 29 has sucked so far.

Twosome: or Six-- ways to help yourself out? ...or maybe just one? If you could send a piece of advice for yourself at twenty-five, what would it be? ...and if you are twenty-five? Well, can the gang here answer any questions for you? Don't fall for that guy! He's not worth it! He's more trouble than he's worth. There are better guys out there. Now, if I could just have that better guy wake up and be mine.

Threesome: to Four-- pounds of See's candy over the holidays? Did you survive 'growing season'? How's it looking out there? I've already seen the displays up for Valentine's Day! Can we survive the constant onslaught of the chocolatiers? I bought some Christmas chocolate on clearance today. Cadbury chocolate in a candy shell for 62¢? Couldn't beat that! Actually, with the depression I've been in for the past month, I've hardly eaten much, and loss some weight. I'm not too worried about it. I'm not stick thin, but let's just say I'm almost to the weight on my driver's license. When I renewed it, I was several pounds heavier than it.

Bonus points: Who did this song and when <g>? Joey thinks this is song is the reason I became a Chicago fan, but as I told him that day in Wendy's when he remarked about me being obessed with the song, I became a Chicago fan with their song "Along Comes a Woman." However, we both like "25 or 6 to 4." He just doesn't like how I can listen to Chicago non-stop at times. It's from Chicago's second album, best known as Chicago II, released in 1970. It was written by Robert Lamm, but performed by Peter Cetera.

[♪ Listening to: "I'll Think of a Reason Later" - Lee Ann Womack]

Silly Scooter

Lately, Scooter has been acting silly. He has been getting on my chest. That's not the silly thing. For the past month or so, I've been wearing my cross necklace. I've been wearing it as a symbol of hope. Scooter sees it. When he gets on my chest, he tries to chew or suck on the cross charm. It's been annoying me.

Today's been not a good one for me. I replied to an e-mail to one of my mother's friends. I wrote some harsh, for me, things in it. They weren't directed to the friend, but life in general. I didn't realize until I started the anger workbook Joey lent me that I have a lot of anger pent up in me. Some of it's about things that are out of my control. Some of the anger is about my life personally.

I have solo plans for myself tomorrow. I will carry them through. It involves going off with my camera. I'll post more when I'm finished.

Funny about my horoscope for today:

Quickie:
Sit with yourself and look at the big picture. Figure out what it is that you want.

Overview:
Your dreams are important right now, no matter how realistic they may seem. Make sure that you're not just going through the motions -- you've really got to put some work into them at this time.

I finally admitted my dreams in that e-mail. I'll have to work on them, but not today. I don't have the will today.

[♪ Listening to: "Africa" - Toto]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!