Year in Review 2007

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? Went to the Space Needle!

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't make them because I can't keep them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Not anyone close, but I know my online friend Stasha in Missouri had a baby. Other online babies I know that where born were Emma to Becky at Grrl Meets World and Michaela to my online friend Barb.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thank goodness.

5. What countries did you visit? Still didn't leave the US, but I finally made it out to Seattle, WA. I had that dream since 2^nd grade.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? The same thing I lacked in 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002… One day, I'll get it. However, I don't feel that way now. I'm sick of waiting.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? December 8, 2007. I graduated college. And May 23 & 24, 2007 - the days I toured the Pacific Northwest.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Graduating college!

9. What was your biggest failure? I didn't fail this year, except in love. Except with love, I never got started.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Not really.

11. What was the best thing you bought? That trip to Seattle was great.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Mine!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My siblings. I wanted to kill them at times.

14. Where did most of your money go? Car repairs and bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The Washington State trip and graduation.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007? "Makes Me Wonder" by Maroon 5. That's the only song from this year that sticks out for me.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? Sadder.
older and wiser? Yes.
thinner or fatter? The same.
richer or poorer? Poorer in finances, but richer in life.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Hanging out with my friends.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Crying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? My Christmas was spent at home, mostly sleeping. It was depressing. I am missing my mother severely, among other things.

21. Question #21 must have fallen into a crevasse on Mt. Everest.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007? Yes. Now, it's not a romantic love, but it's a love I needed at the time nonetheless.

23. How many one-night stands? Negative, Ghost Rider.

24. What was your favorite TV program? CSI & Cold Case are my must watch faves. I also got into The Amazing Race. I want to do that show!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't hate anyone. I've been annoyed by some people I'd like to slap, but I don't hate them.

26. What was the best book you read? The only book I read for pleasure this year was Gone with the Wind

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Chicago and Peter Cetera. I don't know why I got into them, but I just did.

28. What did you want and get? A college degree.

29. What did you want and not get? A true, simple love. One day.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? The Simpsons Movie

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 29. I went to my Wesley Foundation's Christmas party. The next day, I graduated college and celebrated some more.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having a real boyfriend and all the perks with it. Yes, I'm lonely. I'm tired of being alone.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? "The same as it ever was."

34. What kept you sane? Crying.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? My Barrito crush has died a little. Maybe because I'm older. Speaking of Barry Zito, I still have those baseball cards of him in my car I need to get. Joey found them one day and looked them over. I didn't blush when he found them. That was a breakthrough for me.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? I'm not sure how I feel on this illegal immigrant issue.

37. Who did you miss? The usuals. Pumpkin, my mother, to name a few.

38. Who was the best new person you met? Joey and Lindsey. Sure, I knew them last year, but I got to know them better this year. I know I want to kill Joey at times, but he does care for me in his sick, silly, twisted ways. I'm going to miss the bastard. I won't be in classes anymore, so that's going to probably means seeing less of him. And Lindsey's been a rock, too. We're been places and hung out together doing things that I hold dear. My only wish is that the two of them got along better. They are quite similar, more than they realize.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007: Love comes in all different sorts of packages.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "Once touched by pain / You're not the same / But time can heal your / Heart again / So let the clouds / That bring you down / Just fade away " - "Fade Away" - Céline Dion

[♪ Listening to: "Come Be With Me" - Amy Grant and Keb' Mo']

Better Late than Never!

That title stems from yesterday's Thursday Threesome, which I did not do. How fitting I do it today. It's at the end of this entry.

Yesterday was a good and a bad day. Around noon, I cried and screamed at God. Tuesday night, one of my Fark friends told me "Sometimes you have to let go of whether or not what you feel is right or wrong and just acknowledge that that's how you feel." That was I did yesterday in my screaming fit. I felt better after having it. I needed to acknowledge some feelings pent up inside. I cried again around 7:30 and on my way home. I heard "One More Day" on the radio. If you don't know the song, it's about wanting one more day with a loved one that's gone.

I've been feeling better since Christmas has ended. Talking to my father yesterday, I said I might even want to make some wooden Christmas ornaments. I think the prospect of being lonely on Christmas helped kill me this month.

Yesterday, I did get out of the house. Lindsey and Chris needed help acquiring a new bed. Someone he knew was moving to Chicago and getting rid of her queen bed. They wanted it, but didn't have a truck. Enters Shawn. My dad and brother each have a truck, so when our friends are in need, we go and help. So, the three of us went to Chris's friend's apartment and moved the truck back to their apartment. We went to Spanky's for dinner after the trip and looked at a liquor store.

While at the liquor store, I recalled memories of my late Uncle Don. When I was a young child, he worked at a liquor store. As a result, every time we went to Nashville, my family would get things like the velvet bags Crown Royal came in, inflatable bottles of booze, and other stuff. My uncle also had this cool lighted clock from Miller. I didn't like the booze theme, but it was pretty, and I liked how it lit the room at night. You could have a moonlight dance by the light of that clock.

I felt better after the adventure. I know I can live alone and get my own apartment. And it will be what I want. In due time. In due time. I'll need a job, first! Part of my depression has been fear about going out on my own and failing. But I know the true root of my depression at the moment is missing my mother. It all comes back to missing my mother.

The only other thing of note from yesterday was a 10 minute phone call from Joey. We didn't even really speak to each other for half the call. It was like that snurfing commercial. I spoiled him this past semester. If he needed something, I was there for him, usually. And if I didn't have it, I'd go get it. Maybe we both spoiled each other last semester. He called me to help him find and purchase his books, online, for this upcoming semester at Armstrong since he had trouble finding the ISBNs I sent him. He already acknowledged that he's going to miss me next semester. No telling how much he really will. Once he found the books, our call ended.

And now the Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Better-- butter than margarine? ...or Mayonnaise? What goes on your bread for sandwiches? How about dinner rolls? Honey, anyone? Nothing, except maybe butter when I crave it. I hate most condiments, except ketchup.

Twosome: Late-- again! I think that's something I do about once a year. May I blame it on Christmas cleaning? How about you: is your place all cleaned up from the paper-fest? ...or can you even get to the door yet? I have been depressed all month. I think I am finally getting out of my funk. I have to go clean the waste receptacle called my room this week, starting tomorrow.

Threesome: than Never-- again? Do you have any Christmas memories (this year or Christmas Pasts) that you'd just like to never repeat? I'm thinking humourous stories would be best! Christmas Eve 1984. Uncle Don brought in a live Christmas tree he cut himself into Grandmother's home. We were celebrating on Christmas Eve because my parents, sister, and I were spending Christmas morning at Grandma and Grandpa's. At the celebration was Grandmother, Uncle Don, my parents, Nicki, and my Uncle Mike and Aunt Mary coming in from Missouri. I can't recall if Uncle Mike and Aunt Mary were there yet at the house. I was 6. Well, the tree was huge and the tip was bent over at the ceiling. It wasn't very stable. Well, the tree fell over, crashing the top onto Nicki. My father rushed over to inspect Nicki. The water at the base of the tree spilled onto my new Twink doll. That was the year we learned not to have a live tree ever again.

[♪ Listening to: "Say Once More" - Amy Grant]

My Faith Is Shaky.

I had a good day today. I haven't cried at all today, yet. I probably will later on. Yesterday was a disaster. I was faithless yesterday. Today, it's shaky.

I woke up to my phone ringing to a job offer. I have a phone interview on Friday. I don't know how it will go, but I'll give it a try. The company is out of California, but if the job requires me to be there, I'm not doing it. As I told a few friends when letting them know about the job offer, I want to be in reasonable driving distance from my father. I really need my father's support at the moment.

I spoke to Joey and Lindsey for a few minutes. Joey called to tell me to give the job interview a try, and to tell me what DVD box set he got for Christmas. He loves singing the first season theme song of The Unit when talking about that show with me. Lindsey needs a truck for picking up a bed and figured I could help her. When in need of a truck, people come to us for having one. Both calls were short, but something I needed.

I did get out of the house and picked up The Simpsons Movie at Best Buy. We didn't have it, so I thought I'd get it. I also spent the rest of my Office Depot gift card and got lunch at Lenny's Sub Shop.

Now, I'm just waiting on my dad to get home to watch The Simpsons Movie.

Merry Christmas!

A Year In Pictures

I am still down and depressed. Thankfully, I only cried once yesterday, and that was after I read about an Iraqi boy with Cerebral Palsy being adopted by a single American guy. Nicki admitted to me last night that she wasn't too thrilled with this time of year, too.

They say loss gets easier to cope with as time goes on. No, it doesn't. If anything, it's the hardest for me this year. I have been keeping in touch with people via e-mail. I have been getting out of the house, barely. I did some dog sitting Thursday night up in Springfield. I took Ben to work on Saturday and looked around Best Buy. I played computer games and Dr. Mario, when not watching football, yesterday. Still, I'm sad and I feel alone.

I hope next Christmas season is not as lonely as this one has been/will be. I hope God will bless me with a life that won't be on the verge of collapsing. I hope God will have finally shown me the guy I'm meant to be with. If Joey and Lindsey and Jessie can have faith I won't be alone much longer, than so can I. I just wish God would give me a sign.

However, I thought I'd post something inspired by Radical Georgia Moderate. It's my 2007 in review, in pictures. I uploaded 3976 photos to my Flickr account this year. I narrowed them down to a few that showed my life. It was hard to narrow them down to just 42.

I'm not sure what I'll be doing tomorrow. Probably not much. But, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!