I had a dream in which someone kept calling me Margaret. The thing was, this person knew better, but was using Margaret as a code name. I just wanted the person to be honest and refer to me by my real name. Later, my dream involved Cozy and Graysie enjoying sugar cane stalks that looked like large pieces of celerey. :puzzled: Dreams are just silly.

At the moment, I'm on my laptop. Graysie is on my lap. I haven't done much this Christmas break. I've just been in pain. I went back to the doctor yesterday. I had some more x-rays done. I just feel like I've wasted this break. And, I'm lonely. There's no one I can realy hang out with at the moment. My family is working there jobsor have their own lives. Yes, I am depressed. I know it will come to close once I'm better, physically, and back in school.

Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Happy--New Year to you and yours! ...any plans for this weekend? Dick Clark? Guy Lombardo? Early to bed? TV, unless someones invites me off, which I doubt will happen.

Twosome: New--year, old year. Is this the year you take up skiing? ...or knitting? ...or vacuuming every other day <g>? Do you have any major project you'd like to tackle? (Sure, 'resolutions' count...) I'm not sure. Other than getting a new car.

Threesome: Year--end chores? Do the lights and decorations come down this weekend? ...or are you already "done with Christmas"? We'll see.

The past two days have had their share of no fun. It started last night. I did something I haven't done in about 19 years, since Beth was an infant. I went to Christmas Mass. I went to the Methodist church by my house, Cokesbury United Methodist Church. Melissa's told me it was a nice church. The people noticed I was not a regular church person, but they wanted to know who I was and welcomed me back.

It was during Christmas Eve mass that it started. The crying. Oh, I was missing my mother. Last year, we did nothing for Christmas. The 25^th was just another day on the calender. This year, we were going to celebrate it. So, this was the first true Christmas without my mother. As we were signing Christmas carols in church, I just lost it. Growing up in Augusta, my mother was an organ player at our Catholic church. She played the Christmas Eve mass, when the kids were deeply involved in the service. The "professional" organ player my church had could not play an organ while the kids sang. My mother could. So, she did. So, at Christmas time, I not only sang in the kids' choir, I practiced a lot at home with my mother. I should have been hearing her sing those songs.

I was able to control myself, so I didn't sob at mass. I did have a hard time going to bed. Finally, around 3 AM, I broke down and sobbed. Well, that was fun. I had to stop crying over my mother because it was too painful to cry. The chest pain from the accident was just too much. After taking a heavy duty pain pill, I finally got to sleep.

Christmas was even better! Beth woke us up just before 11 AM to open presents. She and Matthew got some new monitors. I got a tablet for my computer. That will take me a bit to learn to use. Nicki got season 5 of 24, and Daddy got season 9 of Stargate SG-1. Just before 1, Beth went to her boyfriend's place out on the Landings to spend some time with him.

However, just before she got into the Landings, she got in a car accident! It ended up to be a fender bender. My dad was furious! All 3 of his daughters in a car accident in 9 days. So, my dad and I ran out there to be with Beth as the police and Landings security took notes on the accident. I got pictures. No one was issued a citation in the accident, since no one was a witness to it. However, there are different accounts on the accident. What the other woman said differs from Beth's account. However, it's a civil matter, so the police isn't involved, other than making the report. My dad wasn't angry at Beth. He's just angry that other people are not paying attention to the road! So, we have another accident to take care of now. However, that's Daddy's and Beth's to handle. Beth's car has some damage, but I don't think it will be totaled, like my car is!

So, with missing my mother, and having Nicki and me in one accident, and Beth in another one today, December has not been a friendly month for us, yet again. However, I think will be fine for the rest of the month. *knocks on wood*

It requires some hard work, like moving boxes of fruit. I would be more of a burden to any group I choose to be a part of. Personally, I was going to do the route with the kids at Coastal Harbor, again. Since this accident, I'm just not the same. I'm not myself at the moment. So Christmas, it will be here at the home with my father and siblings. Yesterday, I was suppose to go to a party in Augusta. I didn't go, because I didn't feel like going on the trip. Plus, I wouldn't have been able to have the fun I could have had at the party. I did go off to do some quick Christmas shopping yesterday, and I was in pain when I came home. I had some last minute shopping today. I was in pain just getting dressed in clean jeans today. I hurt when I came home.

I'll be fine, in time. I have to take my time in healing. I tramuatized my torso in the accident. However, I can't just stop my life as a result of the accident. I've got to keep going on with my life. I just have to take things easy.

Yesterday, when I was off, my father and I were at Best Buy. Seems one of the employees there thought I was my dad's wife! I don't know which one of us was more offended by it. Then, at dinner, I had the card to pay for it. Out waiter gave the card to my father to sign. My father thought they thought I was the girlfriendtraumatized at dinner. I need my own boyfriend. In due time. In due time.

And congrats to the Tennessee Titans! With the win against the Buffalo Bills today, the Titans have a guaranteed .500 season. They could have a higher winning percentage next week, but for sure, it's not a losing season. People thought the Titans were going to suck this year! I hope they eat crow.

And finally, Merry Christmas!

[♪ Listening to: "Meant to Life" - Switchfoot]