If I seem distanced, I am. I am lost in another world. A world of excitement and fear. I think it's normal for a person in my situation. I need to get up and start packing some more. I didn't realize I had so much stuff in my life.

I went back to the shrink yesterday. I mainly talked about the fear and excitement of getting a new job and moving to a new town. That's what I really needed to hear the most. I did express my concern over an issue I have no control over and will never have control over. However, it's an issue that bugs me dearly. He made me stop and take a look at the remark I blurted out. I realized then that I do have some ambition in life. It's sad how at times we just let one thing or person consume us to the point we just about give up. We don't take the time to stop and see what else life has to offer. In a way, I have been doing that myself, as well.

Like the other day, as I'm packing for my big move, I found some baseball cards. I have tons of baseball cards. Plenty of duplicates. It made me wish I had a son. It would be nice to just share the collection with my son. It got me sad and crying that I might not ever have a child. I would be happy with either a son or a daughter, but I'd like my own child. And I want to have a child in a marriage that is a true love. Sure, I may not be married forever; it's a risk in this day and age, but at least my child was created in love.

And finally, a happy birthday to one of my best friends, Joey. I won't say how old he is, but I hope he's has a fine day. He deserves to have a fine day for once.

Posted by Shawn at June 3, 2008 11:50 AM in General.