Depression is a horrible thing. The past week or so, I've been wanting to go to the zoo. I just haven't have the spirit in me to just go and do it. I hate doing things alone, which for most things, I end up doing alone. I said Joey would miss me for all I did for him at school, but the truth is, I'm going to miss him, too. In a way, I do now. I enjoyed his company last semester for things like eating lunch or dinner or going off and running an errand. Nearly everyday I saw a friendly face happy to see and hang out with me. Now, I can still enjoy his company during the time he's in town to complete his degree, but it won't be the same. Once he graduates, he's gone to go live the life he wants to live. I may never see him again. And I have Lindsey here in town to hang with. I still have her. But during this month or so I've been out of school, Joey's been in his hometown and Lindsey's been busy with her family for the holidays as well; I have been lonely. It's going to take time for this lonely feeling to fade away.

Today, after waking up, I went our and helped my dad with some woodwork. He's been into woodworking lately. I just assisted him. He'd measure and cut the wood; I just held things in place for him. He got a bit of work done. I enjoyed it, too. I got to talk to him and got some things off my chest. My dad told me not to give up. Not to give up my dreams. And to go for what I want. I know I need to try, but I'm afraid of failure, too. I have issues with failure, I wish I understood why I'm so afraid of things at times.

I'm just going to end this entry with an e-mail forward that Joey sent me, along with a few other friends of his. I think it has some great points. Now, for me to live by them:

ONE Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE Spend some time alone.

Posted by Shawn at January 5, 2008 3:59 PM in General, Glurge.