That title stems from yesterday's Thursday Threesome, which I did not do. How fitting I do it today. It's at the end of this entry.

Yesterday was a good and a bad day. Around noon, I cried and screamed at God. Tuesday night, one of my Fark friends told me "Sometimes you have to let go of whether or not what you feel is right or wrong and just acknowledge that that's how you feel." That was I did yesterday in my screaming fit. I felt better after having it. I needed to acknowledge some feelings pent up inside. I cried again around 7:30 and on my way home. I heard "One More Day" on the radio. If you don't know the song, it's about wanting one more day with a loved one that's gone.

I've been feeling better since Christmas has ended. Talking to my father yesterday, I said I might even want to make some wooden Christmas ornaments. I think the prospect of being lonely on Christmas helped kill me this month.

Yesterday, I did get out of the house. Lindsey and Chris needed help acquiring a new bed. Someone he knew was moving to Chicago and getting rid of her queen bed. They wanted it, but didn't have a truck. Enters Shawn. My dad and brother each have a truck, so when our friends are in need, we go and help. So, the three of us went to Chris's friend's apartment and moved the truck back to their apartment. We went to Spanky's for dinner after the trip and looked at a liquor store.

While at the liquor store, I recalled memories of my late Uncle Don. When I was a young child, he worked at a liquor store. As a result, every time we went to Nashville, my family would get things like the velvet bags Crown Royal came in, inflatable bottles of booze, and other stuff. My uncle also had this cool lighted clock from Miller. I didn't like the booze theme, but it was pretty, and I liked how it lit the room at night. You could have a moonlight dance by the light of that clock.

I felt better after the adventure. I know I can live alone and get my own apartment. And it will be what I want. In due time. In due time. I'll need a job, first! Part of my depression has been fear about going out on my own and failing. But I know the true root of my depression at the moment is missing my mother. It all comes back to missing my mother.

The only other thing of note from yesterday was a 10 minute phone call from Joey. We didn't even really speak to each other for half the call. It was like that snurfing commercial. I spoiled him this past semester. If he needed something, I was there for him, usually. And if I didn't have it, I'd go get it. Maybe we both spoiled each other last semester. He called me to help him find and purchase his books, online, for this upcoming semester at Armstrong since he had trouble finding the ISBNs I sent him. He already acknowledged that he's going to miss me next semester. No telling how much he really will. Once he found the books, our call ended.

And now the Thursday Threesome:

Onesome: Better-- butter than margarine? ...or Mayonnaise? What goes on your bread for sandwiches? How about dinner rolls? Honey, anyone? Nothing, except maybe butter when I crave it. I hate most condiments, except ketchup.

Twosome: Late-- again! I think that's something I do about once a year. May I blame it on Christmas cleaning? How about you: is your place all cleaned up from the paper-fest? ...or can you even get to the door yet? I have been depressed all month. I think I am finally getting out of my funk. I have to go clean the waste receptacle called my room this week, starting tomorrow.

Threesome: than Never-- again? Do you have any Christmas memories (this year or Christmas Pasts) that you'd just like to never repeat? I'm thinking humourous stories would be best! Christmas Eve 1984. Uncle Don brought in a live Christmas tree he cut himself into Grandmother's home. We were celebrating on Christmas Eve because my parents, sister, and I were spending Christmas morning at Grandma and Grandpa's. At the celebration was Grandmother, Uncle Don, my parents, Nicki, and my Uncle Mike and Aunt Mary coming in from Missouri. I can't recall if Uncle Mike and Aunt Mary were there yet at the house. I was 6. Well, the tree was huge and the tip was bent over at the ceiling. It wasn't very stable. Well, the tree fell over, crashing the top onto Nicki. My father rushed over to inspect Nicki. The water at the base of the tree spilled onto my new Twink doll. That was the year we learned not to have a live tree ever again.

[♪ Listening to: "Say Once More" - Amy Grant]

Posted by Shawn at December 28, 2007 10:23 AM in General, Memories, Thursday Threesome.