Last night, as I was going to bed, I was close to crying. I was listening to Baseball Tonight talk about the death of Josh Hancock, a St. Louis Cardinals pitcher. It not how he died that got me. It was the fact that he was my age. It was the fact that they said he was single and that the team was his family. Kind of scary, believe it or not. I don't want to die anytime soon. And the fear of dying alone scares me.
Today was a our last Wesley lunch for the semester. We said goodbye to the guy pictured, Hale, pastor of Trinity United Methodist Church on Tybee Island. He's been assigned to a church in Moultrie, GA. With the end of the semester and expecting to say goodbye to some people, including those I don't want to see go, plus with me approaching my last semester as a undergrad, it's a little depressing. Hale's sermon today was about advice, both solicited and unsolicited. Over my time in school, I have gotten plenty of advice.
I am scared. I am scared of what the future holds. I wish I can control it, but I know I can't. I'll just have to roll with the punches.
I am also frustrated. For the past couple of days, I have been trying to install Apache, PHP, and MySQL. Well, I got Apache and PHP working with the help of Renee, but I can not get PHP and MySQL to work. I finally got MySQL working today. I had to uninstall McAfee anit-virus and firewall and install Zone Alarm and Avast. And after my 4th MySQL installation, MySQL is working. So I think. I can't get PHP to communicate with MySQL to get phpMyAdmin to work. It's making me feel stupid. I can't get the ASP.Net service to work on this laptop, either. I just wish I had someone in my pocket to help me and wouldn't treat me like an idiot. Maybe in a few days it will all work out. I just know at the moment, I'm ready to chuck my laptop against a wall. I've got to get this all working on my laptop for my Senior Project.
I know things will work out in the end. They have to. I am just tired. I need an escape. I need to be rescued.
[♪ Listening to: "Somewhere Someday" - *NSYNC]
Posted by Shawn at April 30, 2007 10:37 PM in Flickr Photos, Schooling.
