Yes, I am. I promise, This isn't a "woe is me" post. I said that phrase last night to my mother when I was a little down. She was watching a Maury and I had just came back picking up my brother. Before picking him up, I stopped a Christian store. It amaze me that people can have such a open and strong showing of their faith. That's just not in me. I mean, I would love to be so thrilled but it's just not me. That's not to say I'm giving up the seeking for spiritual guidance; I am not doing that. I just don't think I'll be as open as others are.
I'm already questioning God about his path for me to follow, even when I know I shouldn't. It's very hard. I believe God has a path for me but I'm just lost feeling when I see shows like Maury where these sluts are wondering which man, out of 82, is the father of her child. How come some people get all the luck and I'm still single? 
Yes, call it a mini-crisis of faith. I'll get over it. I'm not even angry as I'm writing this. I'm just expressing it. And yes, I know those sluts aren't really lucky. I don't EVER want to be like those women I see on talk shows. I'm too good for that. Is it just so wrong to want to be paired off with someone? Isn't that a part of human nature?
Ok, enough with the questioning God and his plan for me. Let's talk about school today. It was fine. I spent my WWW class time working on today's lab exercise and finishing off the IT coffee calculator assignment. I think the IT assignment looks quite spiffy and all coffee-shopish, not that I know what a coffee shop looks like, since I don't drink coffee. Tennis was a little demanding and I forgot to take water with me. 
I'm working on serving and fronthands. I need to get out to the local tennis court this weekend. Chem was fast today since we spoke about the electromagnetic spectrum. I remembered 5 of the major type of electromagnetic waves from high school Physical Science! 
The today's tutors' meeting went over well. We are approved for Charleston and it looks like Baton Rouge is going to happen. I'm thrilled on that.
Finally, it looks like this year's World Series is going to be a classic. The Boston Red Sox versus the St. Louis Cardinals this year. Just saying that sounds like a classic. It's going to be tough to choose a team. Can't wait for it to start tomorrow night!
Posted by Shawn at October 22, 2004 1:51 PM in Baseball, General, Schooling.
you aren't the one that's lost. in fact, you're very sure of what you want. and it's that certainty that only makes you feel like it's taking forever to find your someone special. but you're definitely not lost.
People can believe whatever they wish and I won't argue (aloud) but people who are so "open" and "strong" about their faiths just strike me as fake. Maybe it's because I've become cynical about the whole thing. Are they preaching for their own edification or are they really genuinely concerned about the sinful masses?
As for spiritual guidance (or anything personal for that matter), I have way more respect for people who seek this privately than the ones who spew it out for all to hear.
Posted by: sya at October 22, 2004 7:26 PM Thanks girls. And Sya, don't worry, I'm never going to be THAT fake. Yes, there are some people that are so into it, tey just seem fake to me, too.
