For some reason or another, I have been hooked on a new track on my new Amy Grant disc, Greatest Hits | 1986-2004. The track is "The Water."

I admit, I am a relapsed Catholic. I haven't been to Church in 15 years. After leaving Ft. Gordon and Augusta, my family just never found a Church to join and we have been "bad Catholics" since. I never even had my Confirmation. Some days, I even wonder if I'm still Catholic.

I've gotten to a point in my life that the only people that should be concerned with my relationship with God are God Himself and Jesus. It shouldn't matter what other people believe or perceive.

Yes, at times, I do wish I could get out and go to church. It doesn't even have to be a Catholic Church. Just a church I can feel welcomed in and yet not be smothered. I went to a Baptist church a few times with a friend, and while I had fun, I was scared by the pre-teen minister. I never went to a Methodist church when my mother played for one. However, we did do some activities with the church and it was fun.

I'm rambling again. Let me return to the song, "The Water". Even since I first heard it, I fell in love with it. I love the line "I'm tired of falling, falling, falling from the weight of fear." It fits me to a tee. Yes, it is a religious song. I feel like it describes my relationship with God and Jesus.

Yes, God, I abandon You at times. I doubt You at times. I beg with You at times. However, when it boils down to it, You are with me. All I have to do is ask and You will come wash me clean. I know You have a certain plan for me and I just have to be patient. I know it's hard and I cry about it, but I must. I know all will work out in the end. I just need to stay true to myself and enjoy life.

On my keys, I keep with me a foot keychain. On this foot keychain, there is a copy "Footprints". I got the keychain in mind to keep God and Jesus near me as close as possible.

I need to be going and get working on some Chemistry work. I thought I would just end this rambling entry with another installment of a meme I have forgotten, Participation Positives. I've not done it in a while and it would do me some good.

• Family love & friends' love. Love to all!


• Knowing people love and care for me.


• Being alive.


• Our animals: Lucky, Misty, Cozy, Pikachu, C.C., Ranger, Scooter, Graysie, Meroko, and Gizmo.


• Trying to stay positive, even when I feel like the world is about to crash down on me and snuff me out at times.


• I am a college student and I will have a degree one day.


• I'm still passing all my classes at the moment.


• I have a job. It may be small but I'm needed here.


• So what if I am single. It's OK. It's not the end of the world. I still have time.

Posted by Shawn at October 18, 2004 8:23 AM in General, Participation Positives.