The past few days in our house there have been some negative vibes in it. I think they started with Monday's swim class. Then, I read my sister's blog. Thrown in a few other factors and I've been down the past two days.

I realize I have a pretty good life, one other people wish they could have. Yet, I have my insecurities and problems, too. Did you know I don't think I'm pretty at all? I know I'm not ugly but I don't feel attractive at all. Most days I wonder if I'm ever going to get married. Isn't that sad? Instead of looking at my positive features, I worry about not getting married and why can't I relate to guys. I know I shouldn't do this, but I can't help it. Of course, it doesn't help going to a school where a majority of the student population is female nor did it help working in the field of bankruptcy.

Well, this post is not meant to be a pity post. I didn't plan on gearing it to be. That's my downhill slide of the week but I think I'm swinging uphill. I'll start with my swimming class.

Thanks to the encouragement of my friends, I had a better attitude about the class. Before we got in the pool, we went over the study guide midterm. The next time class meets in a week, we will be having a written test. Out of the 9 of us in the class, I was the only one to remember what H.E.L.P. meant. My instructor remarked at least someone will be getting an A on the test.

Once we got in the pool, I worked on my back crawl. At the moment, I'm at an 8 on it. That's a B, which I'm not happy about. See, that's another insecurity I have - I don't like to admit failure. But back to the swimming. After I had enough of the back crawl, I started working on my breast stroke again. I just couldn't get the kicking down. So, I asked to use a kickboard. I spent a majority of the class time working on my whip kick on a kickboard, without worrying about breathing and pulls. Just 25 minutes of this activity seemed to help. I got a ten on my elementary back stroke using the reverse whip kick and the instructor said I'm getting close to nailing the breast stroke. As for the kickboard, I think I started a trend today. The other kid in the class that is having trouble with the breast stoke, the instructor made him use a kickboard to work on his kick after I chose to do it. I don't think he like that. His attitude today was what I wanted to express Monday. Next thing I know, though, nearly everyone in class had a kickboard.

History was fine today. We had a test. However, nearly all of the answers on multiple choice section of the test seemed to be 1. One student one his way exiting asked if it was a trick exam. I spent most of my time writing the two required essays for the test. I probably did well on this test. Probably much better than a majority of my classmates.

Ethics was cool, too. We finished discussing Uncle Tom's Cabin and went over the study guide for tomorrow's quiz. I will be skipping it. However, I still worked on the study guide for the paper I have to write next week.

And is anyone watching Joe Schmo 2? I think this new one is ever better than the last one! I was watching it last night because I was too tired to watch it Monday. During the eviction ceremony, just as "Ambrosia" was quoting "The Greatest Love Of All" as her speech to "Austin," the cable went out, due to bad weather! Nicki and Matthew watched it Monday and told me that the eviction didn't happen, yet. I'm safe at the moment. I think Ingrid is a hoot on the show. She is on to what's going on in that house. Oh! they have a Schmo Blog! Must go read that.

[♪ Listening to: "Someone To Call My Lover" - Janet Jackson]

Posted by Shawn at June 30, 2004 1:48 PM in Entertainment, General, Schooling.