I first saw this on Promoguy's site. I don't think it's very popular.

But, since I figured out how to read my server logs, I thought I would give it a try. These are search queries that people did and some how, found any part of my site. Besides listing them, I decided to comment on them, in hopes of answering these queries the next time they happen.

So, enjoy my Threach:

"good excuse for driving without a license" - There are probably good excuses but if you are looking them up on the Internet, you probably have a BAD excuse.

"Snuggle Porcupine" - One of my most pouplar terms. I love it and joked that I was it. Now everyone wants one. The Snuggle people blew it when they didn't market this snuggly soft porcupine.

"how to my perfect girl" - How to WHAT your perfect girl?

"ovulation cramps" - Take some Midol. It's all I can offer

"my perfect girl is perfect" - Thanks for letting me know. Now the question is, why must you search for it on the Internet? To confirm it?

"psp tubes lips" - Sorry, I'm not a tubes place.

"where is Yahoo located" - What am I? An employee of Yahoo? Why don't you look on the Yahoo! site!

"Meet me in the middle of the day" - But you never told me when and where!

"do you believe in love at first sight" - I would love to.

"high school crushes" - See Logan.

"how to tell a crush how you feel" - Can't help you there. I never told Logan.

"essay on Big brother in 1984" - Never read the book.

"Ledyard High School's yearbook photos" - I've been to Ledyard and I have some yearbooks but the two don't go together in my case.

"britney spears my essay" -

"hawaiian t-shrit design" - Actually, it should be shirt. I don't know how to find a shirt like this, but I did wear one once.

"Barry Zito shorts" - Where did this one come from? (Shut up Trish! )

"mother of the year essay" - Why don't you write your own essay for your mother instead of jacking someone else's love for their mother.

"Kenya asians and the united nations" - Ooooooooooook.

"Mark DeRosa Photos" - Someone had good taste in baseball players.

"richard Marx cynthia Rhodes" - Yes, I've met them.

"essay on the United Nations" - Doesn't ANYONE do their OWN work anymore?

"sprint dachshunds ad" - Try This Link

"girl scout cookie dough buckets" - Are you wanting just the buckets or buckets with the dough so you can have Girl Scout cookies at your own house?

"steak and shake commercials cast" - Anyone want to explain this one?

"how much do missionary's make" - NUN! Sorry, it was just asking for it. However, I do admire Missionaries and their ability to live with hardly any money to help others.

"how has the phone changed society" - Look at your computer screen. Enough said.

"I'll never hurt you" - But you just want to confirm this by doing a Internet search.

"chipper jones buddy icon" - Never on my computer, that's for sure.

"how to find perfect girl" - If you find the guide for that, could let me know if there is the "How To find Perfect Guy" guide, too.

"fayetteville generals" - This one came from ESPN.com. They are now the Lakewood Blue Claws.

"sick of being single" - So am I!

"why do terriorists hate the U.S." - Well, see little Billy, terrorists can't comprhend that movies are make believe so they think all Americans love sex and sin. Also, they are jealous that we have working toliets.

"contacting yahoo by e-mail" - What do I look like? Yahoo?

"listen to bel biv devoe" - That was so 6^th grade, man.

"why i was fired" - I don't know why YOU were fired. I know why I was. Don't worry, I won't get into it.

"i have a hope in me that man will fall in love again" - So do I. So do I.

"Michelle Branch Chicago Cubs" - Ok, anyone want to explain this one, too?

"ringtone BBMAK ghost of you and me" - Nice song but I don't know think it could work as a ringtone.

"hygine for ocd clients" - Misbah, do you have a comment for this one? I'm blanking out. OCD isn't cool, however.

"i hate having a crush" - Bummer, dude.

"bbmak autographs" - I have them but not giving them away.

"Does Barry Zito have a girlfriend" - What am I? Secretary to the baseball stars? I don't know the answer to this question. (Shut up Trish! )

"barry zito authentic jersey" - I want one for my birthday!

"john mayer senior picture" - Sorry, don't have it. John's music is cool, however.

"pissed in mt panties" - I think you meant "my panties" but you need help.

"essay about myself" - Um, I can't help you there. Kind of vain to assume I would have one on you.

"lou perlman orlando" - I met him for about 5 minutes in NYPD Pizza in Downtown Orlando March 2002.

"Karen's shoe size" - Sorry, I don't Karen so I really can't tell you her shoe size.

Posted by Shawn at April 3, 2003 1:07 PM in The Thearch.