It might be the depression talking but there is no God. God is nothing more than a human answer to explain what can't be explained. If there was a God, he would be with me at this moment. I wouldn't feel like the scum of the earth that I am. I have no hope that I will never get out of this funk alive. I wouldn't have ever been fired. I wouldn't be in the rut that I am. I would have a job by now. My fucking car would work.
Some people may not think this is something to go crazy over. For me, it is. I can't control my life anymore. There is nothing I can do to stop what it has become the shit that is my life.
So yeah, there is no fucking God.
EDIT: 9:47 AM 9/24/2002 I wrote this when I was very very depressed. I lash out when I feel alone and depressed and abandoned. I don't know what to think anymore.
Posted by Shawn at September 23, 2002 4:09 PM in General.
Remember: on the beach (footsteps) it's when there's only one set of prints that he is carrying you.
Posted by: Babs at September 23, 2002 8:25 PMI know exactly how you feel Shawn. With the hell I've been through lately.. I wonder.. Why in the hell, if there is a God, is he doing this to me? What the hell did I ever do that was so bad to deserve this. I have strong religious doubts... I'm here if you need me.. Will you come hold my hand today!! I'm going to get the guts up to go to a job fair thing today(Tuesday) and see about getting a job.. I AM SCARED TO DEATH!!
Posted by: Dragon at September 24, 2002 1:48 AMYou'll do fine Trish. I know it. You probably have a better chance to getting a job than I would.
I try to remember that Babs but sometimes it's just so hard to do.
Posted by: Shawn at September 24, 2002 9:53 AMI ddin't get the job.. See my xanga or LJ for details! LOL
Posted by: Dragon at September 24, 2002 10:52 AMI disagree with you on your headline, but don't want to start a thread of that sort here. But if you ever wish to vent or visit (on this or any topic) give me a shout!
Posted by: Promo at September 25, 2002 1:36 PM
