The semi-good new first. Nicki wants to go to a Braves game before the season ends. She had me order 2 seats for the 1:05 game on Saturday. I placed them on my credit card but she will be paying for the tickets. We won't be sitting together but we won't be too far from each other, either. Hopefully we can see a Braves win and not a Marquis start.

First a rant and then I'll come back to post the memes.

I have been suffering for depressional bouts and stress since I was fired. I keep wondering what did I do wrong that I got fired. Did I not suck up a bit more that was wanted? Did I not take as many cigarette breaks as the others? Did my trying to take the mature way out of a fight by getting out of the way of the fight do it? Did not covering H's ass like she always expected me to do me in? I've never gotten a straight answer and it's killing me. I want to know what I did wrong. I wanted to be able to defend myself. The cowardly way I was dismissed never gave me a clear reason.

So since I've been fired, I've been getting unemployment to help pay my bills. Except everytime I think I can pay this bill or that bill, something else comes up and someone in my family really needs the money. So, I'm forced to give it to them. That's been stressing me out.

Then there is the fear of not being able to find a job that will work with me going to college. I fear I may have to quit college in order to work and pay bills. I don't want to do that. I also don't want to be taking one course a semester like I have been doing at the moment. I'd like to get that degree before I turn into a prune.

And the one escape I have to contact my friends is the computer. What, you mean let Shawn get on the computer at home? That's never going to happen! Nicki, Matthew, and Beth think they have to be on it 25/8. If Shawn wants on? It will be when they feel like letting me on. Beth has to be on everyday at 6:30-??? to talk to her friends. Nevermind my friends may be on at the same time and I would like to speak to them. I can't remember the last time I had a IM with one of my friends! Damn that router for dying in that storm!

Did I mentioned I need $400.00 more work on my car and I can't use it at the moment? I have $700.00 in doctor bills to pay. My car note is $299.00 a month and let's not forget the credit card bills and the cell phone bill. At least my mother says she'll take one of the phones for her to pay and pay me back when she can.

So I'm upset about a lot of things and stress that's going on in my life right now. Last night, I even had a huge crying fit over it all. Sometimes it's the only way I can cope. Everyone tells me to take one thing at a time. I can't. I like to plan ahead. Yet all I see in my forcast is debt, debt, debt.

Posted by Shawn at September 16, 2002 10:04 AM in General.