Dear God,
Forgive my imposing this question on you,
but what is my fate?
Please answer me God.
I'd love to know.
I can wait.
I just don't like waiting, not knowing the outcome.
What difference will I make?
I'm sick of crying once in a while.
I'm sick of feeling like a failure.
Do you know how depressing it is to
see other people my age engaged, married,
getting married, having children
knowing you're left behind in the rat race of being single?
Do you know how disheartening it is, Lord,
to see others getting out of college, knowing I
really never got to start?
Everyone tells me it's all for the best -
the life we lead.
I sure wish I could agree.
I tell myself my day's coming, my Lord.
I tell myself that everyday.
I sure wish I had a sign.
I'm sick of feeling alone.
I've been a good girl.
Really, I have.
No pre-marital sex.
No breaking up others.
Being nice and sweet.
Trying to treat others as I wish to be treated.
But does it really work, Lord?
You know where I can be found Lord.
And you know how I am.
So please reply as soon as possible.
Thank You.
Sincerely,
Shawn
Writer's note:
2/18/02 - Maybe it's my surgery. Maybe it's the exploration into the past about people I once knew. I can't explain it. As much as I'm happy with the rest of the world, I'm not happy with some parts of me. I'm not happy never have need able to experience love. Not sex - but love. Caring for another person. Being there for a person that's not a family member. I just put the feelings and hurt to paper and asked God a question.
